lisa beard

The Creepiest Place.

Recently many people have asked me if there are any places I’ve explored that I haven’t liked. Usually that question goes along with whether I’ve had any experiences with ghosts or supernatural activity. The answer is yes: this place.

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There haven’t been many “bad places” but this one, I hated it. It’s been gone for awhile now, and I’m pretty sure anyone else who was here with me didn’t like it much either. It was a pretty large rehab facility/rest home situated in a residential neighborhood, and even though I didn’t like it the very first time I explored it, I went back twice for Yellow Glove shoots, and it NEVER got better. Why didn’t I like it? Too may reasons to list, but here are a few: I don’t usually have the hair on my arms stand straight up, and it did here. Every. Time. My first visit I felt light-headed, and by the time I left, yep, I passed out. So many very personal belongings were left behind, and knowing people in this facility were either really ill or elderly, it made it creepy-sad. There were beeping noises. And unexplained pockets of working electricity.

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And I’d say as far as ghosts or “hauntings” go, I was a skeptic, but that changed soon after I visited this place. Maybe it’s handy that I learned how to smudge using white sage and abalone shell after I was positive something “attached” to me during my second visit, or that I now always announce my presence and intentions when exploring, even when [I think] I’m alone, or that I had to learn how to have conversations about ghosts, especially with my nanny at the time, Aubrey, who knows I am not kidding; ask her about “the rags” sometime, as well as my landlord (Real conversation: “Hey … don’t think I’m crazy, but did you HEAR that lady just knocking and yelling for help? No? Are you sure this house wasn’t built on a burial ground or something…?”). Most places have been ok. This one; not so much.

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Round Two.

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It was the creepiest, guys. There’s my answer.

Learning: when your life gets to be like constantly studying for a final exam. In math.

What's that like for person with a brain that is heavily unbalanced towards the right side? Here. Upon coming across the one math course I took undergrad, "Math as a Human Endeavor" I thought, "Hell yes! This is going to be the easiest math class ever!" and I signed up. No. Two grades of equal weight: a midterm and a final. 200 students in a lecture hall. One not-so-easy-to-understand professor who insisted it was easy. One math term I will never forget: olive-knot?! I have no idea how to spell it. I have asked my math teacher friends about it; I have googled it. It's like I have made it up, like it never existed! So I took the midterm. I tried. I cried a little. I wrote, "I DON'T GET IT!" across the front and turned it in. I was devastated. I had never earned below a B in any class. Ever. So I studied like heck for the final and earned an A. I have no idea how. And then that nice, nice, professor allowed me to write a paper about a mathematician. I ended up with a B. Moral of the story: writing is important! Ha! YES for writing! 

But I know learning is good. And it's a damn good thing that I have always loved to learn about a huge variety of things. 

I know I would not have an abnormally high knowledge of state capitals, weird facts about how different countries bury their dead, Native American Mythology (wolves are important), MLA Citation rules, on which page and in what paragraph Mrs. Dubose tells Scout she is a "dirty little girl" in To Kill a Mockingbird, where the Shameless house is located (thanks, kids!), how to do an image transfer 10 different ways for 10 different effects, and strangely enough with music: a song, the artist, the grade I was in, year it was, how old I was, and parts of the music video when a majority of the songs in my lifetime came out.  I have to try two favorites.

Example 1:  "You Might Think" by the Cars:  5, 1984, preschool. I remember a huge fly in the likeness of Ric Ocasek buzzing around a very 1980's colorful and cheesy setting while bothering a woman I assume he liked. I think maybe there was driving a car involved too. Or that could be the album cover they had with "My Best Friend's Girl" on it. Or maybe because they are the Cars? I guess I'll find out. But for sure, the fly.

Example 2: "Under the Bridge" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers. 11, 1991?, 6th grade. I loved, loved this song! Still do. Anyway, I remember Anthony Keidas never wearing a shirt, but that was ok because he was buff and had a nice tattoo.  I also remember him sprinting towards the camera and thinking, "Man, he's fast!" I remember Flea under a graffiti bridge that looks a lot alike one I have a picture of myself. I also remember a winter hat I wanted! 

Hopefully I'm right about these. I don't know for sure. I didn't cheat and I haven't seen these videos in years. Is there anyone else out there that can do this like I can? Had to do it to test myself. I'll look later. Sorry. So. To the things I've been studying and learning: 

Learning Goal #1: Uncertainty

Recent learning has all been about advancing in what has now definitely become my second career and something I'm in love with, photography. I've been doing a lot of research lately, different types of shooting, making contacts where I can, and trying to plan what needs to be done. I've always been a planner, and for some reason I can't plan this, so it's been driving me nuts. This means NO SET PLAN. I have always been a risk-taker, but I have always liked to have some kind of plan, too. This is different, and when you're at an age where you think you should probably have more figured out and you don't, it can't be unsettling. That's where this idea of uncertainty comes in. Maybe it's not such a bad thing. I recently read a part of a book that claimed uncertainty is actually a good thing. I think I'm with that. I think uncertainty actually drives a person who wants success as long as that person doesn't get so scared they end up stopping and getting too comfortable. No idea if that makes sense. Instead of fighting it, I'm doing my best to accept it and maybe actually welcome it someday. When I'm like 80 probably. One simple idea that I remember from that book is true: "The only thing we know is that we know nothing."  Nothing is guaranteed. 

Learning Goal #2: Setting up a studio and preparing for an intern

Studio 204D: Soon to be finished! Come on April 28th!

I'm finally into a studio at Starline Gallery, sharing one with my wonderful friend, Peggy Gannon. She's an amazing artist. We will be open for the first time during this month's 4th Fridays, April 28th. We want to pack our new place. So come! We are excited. But setting up a studio is not easy. No, it's not even closeti done.  But it will be soon. Plus I have also agreed to take an intern who is majoring in fine art this summer at the Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design. She seems creative and great. But it will be a learning experience. I think we'll both learn a lot.

Learning Goal #3: Fashion, which is funny considering I am all about comfort

I love this coat. This one is a flip coat. It can be worn one way so that it is shorter in length, but flip it upside down and it can be worn so that it is longer in length. Crazy!

Also, I'm studying up on fashion from Pinterest to find and look at the work of the best fashion photographers I can around Chicago and the rest of the world, tearing out pages of both American and European fashion magazines, looking through books of designer art, finding models, and collaborating with many different people.  I have learned so much about fashion as an art. It's fascinating what concepts designers come up with and their creative processes associated with them. I'm blown away by the ideas one creative designer I've been lucky enough to get to know. I often ask, "How did you come up with this?" Her answer is amazingly similar to how and when I come up with stuff: when I'm really not thinking about it - running, in the shower, sleeping, etc.  Plus it is intriguing and almost comforting to hear about what someone has to do vs. what she really wants to do.  I've only thought about fashion photography a couple of times: when other photographers have mentioned I should try it. I think I might actually love it.

Lesson 4: Dealing with Discomfort

Speaking of new people, I have had to meet and speak with many new people about new and important stuff: opportunities, critiques, budgeting, second shooters, lighting, taxes, travel expenses, running a small business, having access to things I need at the time, "how to" questions … you get it. That's always been hard for me. Can I do it? Yes. Do I like to? Umm, yes and no. I have terrible anxiety at first, for weeks if I know something is coming up. The good news is that it fades once in action.  Contrary to popular belief, I am not an extrovert. I think I am an introvert who can demonstrate extroverted qualities at times. But I always need time to recharge or I'm in for a whole lot of trouble. "But you're a teacher!" Yeah, I know. Teaching students is different than meeting with potential clients or pitching ideas to a roomful of people when you've never had that experience before!

Lesson 5: Being grateful and learning from others (if you listen. Note to self: fricking listen!)

I have always felt great appreciation to people in my life, and I have tried to express it. But I have learned a ton about people in general, and I need to say thank you to the few people I contacted through email, messaging, or personally because all of you are very busy and very successful people who have been generous with your time and answers/suggestions when you could have easily told me you were too busy to help. It helps me so much to have some information before I make major decisions. I'd love to thank specific people for making even just a little time for me, but I'll feel like a jerk when I forget someone, but everything has helped in some way. Reaching out and asking is the hard part. I have never liked to ask for help, but I also never give up just because it's not easy. What is there to lose? You never know until you ask. I started realizing this the last few years when I finally found enough courage to ask, and I wish I would have understood earlier.

Wish me luck. I'm heading downtown and it's an important day. Step 2 in probably what will be a long process. I'm going to have to pull some of this learning together and apply it the best I can. I am a little bit nervous, but I feel confident, and that's what learning does for me: it makes me feel like I can talk without sounding like a complete idiot. Mostly. Because I will spill or trip or break a glass at some point that day. I like to call THAT charm. 

Charming, yes?

Charming, yes?

The Oregon Trail, Jordan Catalano, and New Stuff

Why would I even be thinking of an 80's computer game and a cute teenage boy who was on TV in the 1990's?  You'd be surprised. It's very relevant, actually. It's something I've been thinking about and that has been brought up to me in the last week or so frequently. Maybe it's because of The Obamas exiting the White House today and Donald Trump entering it … Sorry … Or maybe it's because of a project I have been working on and trying to name, or maybe it's because of someone I met recently who understands every reference to the things I mention that are totally random to some other people. Doesn't matter. It all links up to one thing:  

I've always been interested in generations and their traits, so just a little bit about my generation: I am not a member of Generation X or a Millennial. I am a member of the microgeneration between them, a "cusper" if you will. It has a few names, the most popular being The Xennials, The Oregon Trail Generation, and The Catalano Generation. Unless you are a part of my generation, you might not even know what The Oregon Trail is or who Jordan Catalano is. What a shame.  

But the names all make sense: Xennial is a combo name, duh. The Oregon Trail was an computer game from the 80's, and my friends and I used to FIGHT over playing that game in our elementary school classroom after finishing assignments. It always sucked when your character got Typhoid Fever or Dysentry while crossing the country in a covered wagon. Another game we used to play was Where in the World Is Carmen San Diego. I was the kid who always rushed to finish my work just to play that game. This was me: "Yeah, of course I did it all carefully. YES I double-checked. Why would you ever wonder that?" Yeah right. Lying 3rd grader. I never double-checked my work.

Ohh the Commodore and the good old days. Third grade in the basement at Greenwood Elementary. There was also this great Winter Olympic game with ski jumping that we battled over playing. Good memories.

Ohh the Commodore and the good old days. Third grade in the basement at Greenwood Elementary. There was also this great Winter Olympic game with ski jumping that we battled over playing. Good memories.


Why also The Catalano Generation? Only because of arguably my favorite TV series on during the 1990's, My So Called Life, where the main male character, Jordan Catalano, was loved by girls and thought to be cool by boys because he was a stereotypically hot, lazy, but sensitive high school boy acting opposite of Claire Danes, or Angela on the show. This series was so popular with the people of my "microgeneration" that we are sometimes known as young, hot, Jared Leto's character from the show's generation. Here he is then, as Jordan Catalano, and now … which I'm definitely not complaining about either.

I have to say it's not really a bad idea for a generational name. I like The Oregon Trail idea too though. They both really do capture some important things of my youth. 


I guess this all came up because of a few things. First, I'm working on a bunch of different ideas, but one that I started awhile ago, and has been brewing for about two years has to do with the music I loved when a child, music that is on records. I have a huge collection of records, and that's because of my mom and dad who used to listen to music almost every night after dinner. I'd stare at the album art and be amazed by it. I'd also memorize the songs. This music was mostly from their generation, but some was not. Some would have been considered "current" during the early 1980's, and therefore a became big part of me. I have always hung my favorite albums up on walls as album art, but then I had this idea to remake some of my favorite covers but with some differences. The catch is these have to be albums that MEAN something to me, whether it be the artist, songs, memories associated with them, or just the damn weird album covers - one that comes to mind is the Rolling Stones album "Some Girls" where you could move their heads around to fit onto lady bodies. Most were bodies in bras that were on sale? Yeah that's what I remember.  So far, I have tried this with two albums, and it is HARD. It involves photography, of course, and it is often photography involving many models and poses the aren't easy to replicate.  I also don't want these pieces to look exactly the same as the original covers. That would be lame.  It is also involves a lot of editing and digital painting, something I am not so familiar with but now enjoy. The next step is image transfer onto a blank album cover (Thanks for that idea Riley Child, and for actually having them, Amazon) because I tried this on wood panels and it just didn't work like I wanted it to. Then I have to use oil or acrylic, charcoal, or oil pastels to finish the piece. After over 20 tries, I finally have two pieces to show for it. I think a lot of people would have quit by now, but I can't and won't.  There are a lot of ideas that I have for this, and  a lot of models lined up, so the project WILL continue.


All of this got me thinking about what generation I'm really from: Generation X, which I don't completely fit into, or the Millennials, which I feel even less connected to, because people born during about a six year age span don't really fit into either. That's where I found the information on the Xennials, or my generation, and it all makes sense. It's for real. And then I started hearing about it more, I believe because of current politics and the amount of job turnover among my friends and others; stuff like that. But then it was even brought up by a close mentor friend of mine and a few friends - this generational thing. I think I would rather be an Xennial instead of the other two generations sandwiching us because it is a pretty flexible and versatile generation. We grew up without the technology we have today, so we didn't have cell phones until our 20's, which meant we actually had to call and talk to people, including our friends' parents, to make plans. Either that or we went and knocked on a door to play. But, we were the first ones to grow up with affordable household computers, so we were exposed to technology and the awesome sound of a dial up modem for the slowest Internet speed imaginable - when we were about 16. Millennials can't even remember a time without them, and older Gen X'ers often don't understand the latest technology because of a lack of use and/or exposure. We are in the middle. Give me something and I can fumble around and always figure it out. Or don't give me anything having to do with technology and I am perfectly happy. I still WRITE OUT anything before I type it. Old school. It's kind of nice to have been able to adapt easily to technological advances but to not be addicted full on - well not me anyway.

As a teacher, I find it so funny to talk to my students about the kind of stuff. They do not remember pay phones. They do not remember calling collect. Or calling collect, leaving your name on the recording, having someone pick up and listen to it so they know to come get you, and hanging up. They never had the pleasure of knowing how to use both card catalogues and article databases. They have never used CDs OR tapes. I did until the end of college when I got my first mp3 player for running and that was like, unbelievable. So was Napster, where I got to use Eastern Illinois University's Ethernet to seriously increase my music collection. I love what it's evolved into, namely Spotify. It's great. Another thing that's nice is not having to wait at least an hour and paying a lot of money to wait for my film to be developed. My kids have no clue about that either. Or what knowing about the Gulf War was or feeling the effects of 9/11 as a 21 year old student teacher while trying to deal with the fears of my Advanced Senior English students who were 3 years younger than me when I was worried about my cousin who worked in Manhattan very close to the Twin Towers. Weird times. These kids get to use wireless everything, and soon our district will have 1:1 technology for each student; my 8 year old has his own Chromebook. I was just happy in Keyboarding I and II class with Mrs. Carroll when we used electronic typewriters and sometimes got to go to the ONE lab we had to use the awesome Apple IIe computers. They didn't even have Internet access.  Internet happened senior year in the OTHER lab, the ITC lab. I used it maybe once. And I didn't care because I didn't understand it.

This.was.hi.tech.

This.was.hi.tech.


So the album art series is not yet titled, but it will have something to do with how I feel about music and what it has to do with my membership in The Oregon Trail/Catalano/Xennial crowd. Here are a couple of my first albums - at least the photography used with them. If you know what they are, cool. If not, that's ok too. I'm just kind of messing around for now. David Bowie comes next, but that is a whole different endeavor. For this one we have the front and the back. Thank you, Kai, for including a spastic Lily on the cover.  These are just the images for transfer, so the color is obviously going to be evened out and changed. For the next, that is my son at the same age as  the boy who modeled for the real cover. Now he is the same age as when he modeled for the next, and we will be doing that soon. 


Most of the album ideas will come from the 80's or before, so I guess that's where all this generation stuff started popping into my head.  Anyway, I have also been working on some other projects. The Yellow Gloves are a given, but they aren't a focus of this post today. I have been working on a lot of other types activities with that series, but as far as working on art goes, I have really been into the albums and mixed media projects. These are two: both image transfers onto wood panels, one of a classroom at an abandoned schoolhouse in Iowa, and the other a transfer of the snow and rain on the side of a cab ride during a blizzard down Michigan Avenue in the dark on December 16th. I used some Crackle on that one. Fun.


I've also been experimenting with another idea. I won't get into the nuts and bolts of it, but it clearly involves distortion. I know that sometimes I can be a bit … let's see … realistic, not exactly dark … like some people like to say. So some of what I have been working on might reflect some of that, but it's been fun to use new programs and techniques, like Studio Artist and others, to try new things out.


Anyway, that is what my brain, my heart, and my hands have been up to. And I know that you totally appreciated this post if you knew what I was talking about, used Slap bracelets, stick on earrings, wore Hypercolor t-shirts, loved making mix-tapes, used AOL, read Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark or any Shel Silverstein collections, would break peoples' arms and cry over Cabbage Patch Kids, "smoked" candy cigarettes, loved Atari first but even more, the originall Nintendo system with Super Mario Bros. and Duck Hunt - you had to blow on the games to make them work sometimes -, watched Heathers, the Goonies, and Clueless over and over again, and wouldn't miss episodes of Dawson's Creek, the real Full House90210Saved by the Bell, or The Wonder Years. Oh yeah, and you also had to be able to attempt dancing hip hop in a circle at a school dance to "Jump Around!", "Poison", or "The Humpty Dance".  If you can rap all the words to "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air", I know you're the real deal. 

On a side note, my Etsy page is not up and running anymore. I do have some artwork for sale listed on this site, but if you want to talk about purchasing a piece of The Yellow Glove Series, please contact me using either the "Contact Me" form on this site, or email me at lisabeardart@gmail.com.

Have a good weekend everybody! Maybe go watch some Wonder Years on Netflix.

Yellow Glove Shoot #23 : Safari Bar and Kitchen

Yeah, holy crap. 23 Yellow Glove shoots. I didn't even realize it has been that many until I literally counted them a minute ago. Only 3 haven't been seen.  1 probably never will be. It didn't turn out like we thought it would. Let's just say a happy Gigi just doesn't work.

And so what if it's really 0 degrees with a -17 degree windchill and this shoot is approximately an hour north? Doesn't even matter when you really love a place and want to get one in. 

This home, which we chose mostly due to the amazing looking space and fully stocked safari-themed bar, is huge and abandoned, from what I can guess since sometime in the 1980's, is in Wisconsin, and it looks like the occupants got up and left as fast as they could … mob?? That would be the perfect story in my head. We all agree that someone need to buy this home and flip it. It could be unbelievable. Someone call Tarek and Christine. I know they're getting divorced, but supposedly they are going to keep flipping or flopping. Everything you see in the images was already in place, and there was so much more we couldn't include. 

Flip or Flop? Not their marriage silly  the house!

It was freezing, and we considered not going, but it was the only day that worked. One thing that I love about this shoot is that both models are extremely expressive, Gigi facially and her husband with body language. I think it's obvious that this guy didn't work out for her either.  She has no luck at all with men. She's like that Social Distortion Song : "Bad Luck." She's got bad, bad luck.

This is husband #6. We've had Caleb, who expects too much; Brian, who she ran from while at the altar; Riley, who was a tad bit abusive; Kai, who wanted her to cook and clean while he sat around; Alex, who was a little too perfect but made her sad; and now Ethan, who seems nice but drinks a little too much. I keep telling her she has to stop basing her choices on looks. 

Here's some of what we got during the last shoot:

I know. That bar, right?! I love the spiderweb stretching off of the bottle. And those cabinets in the kitchen! We might just have to reuse this location if it's still around in the future. Plus, looking at the models, who would even know it was colder than in the North Pole that day?